i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
