yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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