whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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