i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
