There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The power of my boobs compel you
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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