If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
