..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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