doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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