I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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