i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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