OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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