I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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