hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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