He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
