I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
