apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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