there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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