The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
