Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
