so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
