God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
