yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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