i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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