I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
