Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
