I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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