I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
