haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
