He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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