I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
