Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
