puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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