I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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