Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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