bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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