God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
