I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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