Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
