: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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