Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
