Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
