you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
