how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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