Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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