I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
