Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
