my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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