he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
