Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
