ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
