i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
