Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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