The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
