Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
