I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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