I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
