we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How external is "for external use only"?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
