You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
