please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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