my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
