I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
