Who wears a wallet chain?!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
